Frustration
by ErikaaDiLante
Summary: Part of what makes Tony and Ziva such a good couple is their deep friendship. But will they ever make the transition to something more? Tiva fluff. Rating just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**The plot is based off of Taylor Swift's You Belong with Me music video. I was watching it and this just popped into my head (yay plot bunnies!!!) ****Fluff to the extreme. Will probably be a three or four chapter fic. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. But if my imaginary boyfriend wants to buy NCIS for me for Valentine's Day, I think I'd marry him right then and there!  
**

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Ziva stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom. She ran her hand through her long dark hair and spun around in a circle, checking her appearance. She sighed in exasperation and plopped down on her bed. She looked up sharply when she saw Tony in the window across from her. He looked distressed. He was rubbing the back of his neck and pulling at the bottom of his hair. That was when Ziva saw he was on the phone. She furrowed her eyebrows at him through the window. She grabbed a purple sharpie and a stack of paper. She wrote him a message and faced it towards him so he could read it after he hung up the phone.

_What's wrong?_ He saw the message and sighed, grabbing paper and a writing implement of his own. He replied,

_How do you know something's wrong? _She stared at him, shaking her head at his silly question. She wrote,

_You look run over._ She saw him laugh. That was always a good thing. She felt the corners of her mouth tug up, returning his gesture.

_It's run down_, he informed her. She rolled her eyes.

_Whatever. What is it? You can tell me!_ He had some sort of inner debate with himself before writing,

_It's her._ Ziva resisted the urge to growl, jump through the window, or hunt Tony's latest girlfriend down and strangle her. It seemed Tony had, unfortunately, really fallen for this one, and the fact that she was making him anything less than perfectly happy would not do for Ziva.

_What happened,_ she asked. He sighed.

_I don't even know. I cracked a joke and I guess it rubbed her the wrong way. I don't even remember what I said!_ Ziva made a face of pity.

_I am sorry. Maybe she just doesn't understand your sense of humor. It's a shame really, it's one of the most lovable things about you._ Tony beamed, and Ziva inwardly cursed herself. He kept on smiling as he wrote,

_Lovable? Really, Ziva? Gee, I didn't know you felt that way._ She sighed a half-frustrated, half-longing sigh.

_I never said I did. I just think that if you're in a relationship with someone they should be able to understand you, especially your sense of humor. You should be able to laugh with them, trust them, open up to them._

_It sounds like we're talking about more than my sense of humor here. Besides, she's good in bed._ Ziva rolled her eyes. Typical Tony, brush everything off with a joke.

_You're an idiot._ He grinned.

_Why thank you madame. Your kind words touch me deeply._ Ziva smiled.

_Well you are most welcome then._ Tony smirked then grew serious.

_Besides,_ he wrote, _it's not like anyone else is lining up at my doorstep confessing their undying love for me._ Ziva looked down, took a deep breath, and wrote,

_I am._ But he was already gone, his shade pulled over the window and effectively ending their conversation. Ziva growled and lay back down on her bed before curling up into a fetal position, imagining Tony's arms around her as she fell asleep.

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**Hope you guys liked it! Lemme know what you think!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Uploading once a day! This is scary! What happened to me? Am I actually reliable now??? gasp***

**So here's the second chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
**

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Ziva smirked against the cool autumn breeze. She smiled sheepishly as Tony handed her her drink.

"Milady," he said with a grin, charming as always. She mimicked his slight bowing gesture with a small curtsy.

"Thank you sir," she replied as they exited the small cafe. They walked in silence for awhile, each lost in their thoughts, before Ziva asked,

"Is she worth it?" Tony looked up sharply, confused.

"What?"

"You new girlfriend. Do you really love her so much you're willing to continue a relationship with her even though it is obvious she knows nothing about you?" Tony recoiled again. when he didn't respond, Ziva said,

"I'm sorry. I was too blunt. What I meant was..."

"No, no," he interrupted, "I was just thinking. You're right. That's probably why I broke up with her." Ziva inhaled quickly. She was hopeful, almost happy, which confused her. She knew she shouldn't be happy at someone else's misery, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel the pressure that had been resting on her chest begin to life itself off.

"I...I'm sorry Tony." He shrugged as they reached the small park bench. They sat down and he buried his head in his hands, trying to rub out all of the pain he was feeling in his heart. He bit his lip, a sign Ziva knew meant he was trying not to cry. He jumped when she put one hand on his knee and the other on his back, rubbing soothing circles with just the right amount of pressure. He relaxed into her touch, shocked at how easy it was to just open up with her. Once the wave of sadness had passed, he sighed.

"Thank you," he mumbled, so softly she almost didn't hear it. She smiled sadly and patted his knee.

"That's what friends are for." He looked up at her. She gulped and removed her hand from his knee, assuming that that was the reason for his stare. Instead, he was just captivated by her. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it and shook his head.

"What," she pressed. He shook his head again.

"It's nothing." She glared at him, so he corrected his answer.

"You'll kill me if I tell you." She smirked.

"Try me. You might be surprised." She leaned in close, teasing him. "You might even enjoy my reaction." He smiled.

"Why do you want to know so badly Zee-vah," he asked as his eyes dropped to her lips.

"I don't, To-nee. I am just curious. That is all." She leaned even closer to him, causing his breathing to quicken. She cocked her head to one side. "Tell me," she murmured, looking at him through her long eyelashes. He gulped, but instead of pulling away with a witty comeback as usual, he said,

"I was just thinking about how beautiful you are." She looked up into his eyes, searching for some hint that he was just playing some sort of cruel joke on her, messing with her feelings because he knew how she felt about him. However, she couldn't find any. So she caressed his check. He closed his eyes and shivered slightly against her touch. She closed her eyes and grazed his lips with hers.

_BZZZTT!!_ They both sighed and pulled away when his phone rang. He glanced at the caller id, then at her, obviously torn. He muttered an apology and flipped his phone open.

"Hi." She frowned at his tone. There was something awkward about it, as if he were talking to someone he shouldn't be. "No everything's fine. No, now's a great time. Okay. I um...can you hold on one second?" He got up and pointed to his phone, mouthing 'I gotta take this'. She sighed as realization sunk in. It was her. It was her turn to bury her face in her hands, but there were no loving arms to comfort her. _Why does this woman keep ruining my life,_ she wondered, _you just kissed Tony you idiot! What were you thinking? That will probably have him running straight back to her. This was just a casual coffee break with a co-worker. It wasn't a date! My God Ziva what were you thinking? _She sighed before thinking the most prominent thought in her head. _What does she have that I don't?

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_**Okay, I realize that this was a horribly cliche chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. Let me know what you think!**

**xo-Erika-xo  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**All right kiddies, here ya go! Chapter three time! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! M E Wofford, one of my inspirations, has been a very kind reviewer. I have to say I'm a bit starstruck! And Midnighter's Dream-Xx, who stayed outside in the cold to read and review my story. You have no idea how much I appreciate that! To and Betherzz, thank you guys so much! Your kind words mean a lot to me! To Princess Charley, who has reviewed both chapters, I'm so glad you like it! And last, but certainly not least, to my great friend That Cripple Girl. You're just awesome and inspiring and I'm glad you like my stories enough to actually review every single one of them!!!**

**Okay, now that we've had a bunch of (very necessary and relevant) mush, on with the story!  
**_

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Are you going tonight?_ Ziva saw the message written in orange sharpie from her window. It had been a couple of days since their awkward 'almost kiss' incident, and things at work had been more than awkward. They would stare at each other for prolonged periods of time and stutter every time Gibbs sent them out together. Everyone knew something had happened, and they knew they had to pull their act together before Gibbs smacked them into the unemployment line. She smiled at Tony and grabbed her own communicating devices. She wrote,

_No, I am studying. My citizenship test is tomorrow. _She then gestured to all of the books around her. He winced and faked a yawn.

_History is boring. You should come tonight! Come on, it'll be fun. We might even get to see McGee drunk! Office parties only roll around once in awhile Ziva!_

_They have them all the time,_ she replied. He scrunched up his face in thought before responding,

_Yeah, but we always have to work. It's weird. It's like Gibbs volunteers us for work whenever it's party time._ Ziva gave him a look that said 'that's exactly what he does'. She then shrugged.

_Does not change the fact that I have a test tomorrow Tony. I cannot stay up all night partying._ He looked at her and shrugged.

_Bummer. It's going to be one heck of a party._

_Is that your way of saying you wish I was going to be there,_ she asked, arching her eyebrows at him. He fidgeted with his tie, something he always did when he was nervous.

_Possibly._ Ziva stifled a laugh when she realized his tie was now completely askew. He kept trying to fix it but failed miserably. He shrugged and gave her a helpless look. She rolled her eyes and wrote to him,

_Hold on, I'll be over in a minute._ Moments later, she knocked on his door. He swung it open immediately.

"Were you waiting for me, Tony," Ziva asked with a smirk.

"What if I was?" Normally she would have just flirted back, but after the incident in the park she had trouble finding the right words. Every time she had tried since then to start up their old banter again, she was either too harsh or too 'lovey-dovey' as Tony would say. So instead, she merely shot him a look and continued fixing his tie. It took her awhile to undo his mess so he began to look her up and down.

"Enjoying the view," she asked absentmindedly. He smiled.

"I'm just admiring your pjs. I never pegged you for a Winnie-the-Pooh fan." She laughed lightly and tightened his tie, staying extremely close to him when she was done.

"I'm not, Tali was. On her birthday we would always sit in my room and read the entire book, cover to cover, even when we got older. When we were very young, sometimes our mother would come in and just watch us. Most of the time we didn't even notice her, but when we did she would come join us on the bed and just hold us for awhile. She would kiss both of our foreheads and then go back to her room." Tony just blinked a couple of times.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever heard you say that much about yourself before." She smiled.

"Maybe I'm beginning to trust you more." He opened and closed his mouth, speechless. She reached up and pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek.

"Have fun at the party Tony. Let me know how it goes, and call me if you need me to come pick you up." Before he could respond, she left, leaving him speechless and filled with regret. Why had he not kissed her back that day in the park? Why had he not kissed her now? He mentally Gibbs slapped himself for his hesitation. _You are such an idiot. Come on, DiNozzo,_ he thought, straightening his suit once more,_ it's time to be a man.

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_**Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! Thanks again to all my reviewers!!! This isn't the last chapter, although the ending might make it appear that way. Enjoy!  
**

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Ziva sighed nervously as she smoothed her dress down for what felt like the millionth time. She had finished studying and decided to join her coworkers at the office party. _And Tony has absolutely nothing to do with this. You only want to go to get the chance to loosen up a little bit,_ she told herself as she played with her hair. She took another deep breath, realizing that she looked as good as she was going to before grabbing her purse and heading out the door.

When she got to the party, she did not receive the greeting she expected. McGee sprinted towards her, latching tightly onto her arm.

"Thank God you're here," he said breathlessly. He began to escort her towards their squad room. She looked at him confusedly.

"What? Why are you so happy to see me?" McGee laughed unhappily.

"You'll see." When they finally reached the bullpen, Ziva gasped.

"Oh my goodness," she whispered. McGee nodded.

"Yeah. He's been that way for awhile. I'm pretty sure Gibbs shut him off like an hour ago." Ziva covered her mouth at the spectacle her partner was making. His jacket and tie were both missing, as well as his belt. _Now where could that have gone,_ she wondered. She felt a pang of jealousy in her stomach when she saw a slim girl with light brown hair work her way towards the now very drunk Tony. She was obviously embarrassed. She kept pulling on his arm, trying to get him to bring her home, but he wouldn't listen. She gulped when his eyes fell on her. They just stared at each other for what seemed like hours, his eyes seeming to sober up slightly at the sight of her. He then broke her gaze and shouted, a little too loudly.

"You know what rule is stupid? Rule 12! Hey boss," he called to Gibbs, who was just barely paying attention, "screw rule 12! I can do whatever the hell I want to with my life!" Tony's girlfriend, Ziva realized she didn't even know her name, pulled on his arm again.

"Come on Tony, I want to go home," she whispered through gritted teeth for what Ziva knew must have been the millionth time. He shook his head.

"No I want Ziva to take me home. Will you take me home Ziva?" Ziva walked up to her partner, who was now swaying on his feet. She put her arms around him. She and his girlfriend helped him into the elevator. Ziva and the girl stood on opposite sides of Tony. Both had their arms crossed, and both looked extremely ticked off. Tony, however, seemed to be oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation and began whistling the Mission Impossible theme song. After a few seconds of this Ziva raised her hand and smacked him in the chest.

"Ow," he slurred, "what the hell was that for."

"Stop whistling." Now it was her turn to speak through gritted teeth. Ziva helped him over to her car, which the girlfriend looked at with skepticism.

"Uh...we took his car here. I think we should maybe..."

"Oh no," Ziva cut her off, "Tony would not be happy if I drove his car. He could try to do something drastic and I don't think that would be a wise idea considering his...condition. It is all right. I can take you home." The woman still looked doubtful. Tony started whistling again, this time to It's a Small World. Ziva rolled her eyes and forced him into the passenger seat, leaving the woman to sit in the back. She climbed in hesitantly and gave Ziva her address, gripping everything she could hold on to when Ziva took off. Ziva smirked. _I'll go just a little faster, just for you, lady._ When they reached the woman's house, she began to get out. Before she left, however, she stopped and turned to Ziva. Tony was mumbling incoherent things to himself. She looked at him with disgust before saying,

"Since I doubt he'll remember this in the morning, tell Tony I think it would be best if we didn't see each other again." Ziva nodded curtly before the woman slammed the door. The short drive to her place was silent except for Tony's mumbling. She helped him inside before taking off her jacket. She ran into the living room when she heard a crash. He was standing there with his hands in the air. She saw a picture frame lying on the ground. She picked it up, leaving the broken glass for later. The picture was of him and her during one of the teams regular outings. They were sitting at the bar, laughing like they didn't have a care in the world.

"It's my favorite," Tony said, his speech still slightly slurred. Ziva nodded.

"Me too."

"Do you know why it's my favorite," he asked. She shook her head.

"Because the way you were looking at me, laughing with me and everything, I remember it felt like you were saying 'I love you too'. Cause, I mean, that's what I was trying to tell you, with my eyes, cause I'm too stupid to say it with my mouth. I was trying to tell you I love you." She looked at him, surprised.

"You...you what?" He looked at her as if she'd asked him to explain quantum physics.

"What?"

"You just said....never mind. You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying." She sighed disappointedly as he continued to toy with breakable objects around her apartment.

"You may sleep on the couch if you would like," she told him as she made her way into her bedroom. She slipped under the covers and began to toss and turn, playing what he had said over and over again in her head. _That's what I was trying to tell you...I love you._ She froze, however, when she felt an arm snake around her waist, the fingers leaving a ghost of a touch on her stomach. She shivered and whispered,

"Tony?" She could feel his smile.

"The one and only." He pulled her closer to him, resting his head on top of hers. She thought about protesting, but decided not to. She smiled as she closed her eyes, knowing that for once the nightmares wouldn't greet her in her sleep tonight. She finally felt just a little bit safe.

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**Remember what I said, this is not the last chapter. We will have to deal with the awkward morning after. It's late and I'm tired so I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! So sorry I couldn't update for the last couple of days, this weekend has been crazy! But here I am with the last chapter! Thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers! You guys rock and I'm so thankful you've stuck with me on this (pretty much) week long journey. I hope you enjoyed the fic! WARNING: The sappiest of all sappy endings is contained in this fic. Don't say I didn't warn you!  
**

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Ziva was already up and running when Tony stumbled out of her bedroom. She was sitting at her kitchen table sipping a cup of tea. When she saw him she stifled a laugh. He looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and he had dark circles under them. She smiled from behind her coffee cup and let out a chipper,

"Good morning." He winced.

"Not so loud. I just woke up." She made a fake pouting face and he looked back at her sarcastically. Laid out on the table in front of him were a glass of water, painkillers, and a cup filled with some kind of hot liquid. He gulped down the water and the painkillers before gesturing to the other cup.

"What is this," he asked. She didn't look up but simply said,

"Drink it, it will help." He took a sip and immediately felt more awake.

"Huh. It's strong, it tastes really weird, but it somehow works. What is it?" She walked over to the picture they had been examining together the previous night and smiled.

"I believe you would call it the David Defibrillator." His eyes widened.

"This is that crappy tea and lime blend you were telling me about?" She nodded. "But I thought that was a family secret," he said, a question in his voice. She looked at him and smiled.

"I guess that's my way of saying welcome to the family." He opened and shut his mouth a few times before beginning to study the picture again. He smiled.

"You know this is..."

"Your favorite picture I know," she finished for him, "you told me last night." He looked at her, nervous. What else had he told her? How much had he told her? _Curse you, alcohol. I knew having that twelfth drink was a bad idea._

"Did I tell you why," he dared to ask. Neither of them had realized how close they were until that moment. Her gaze dropped downward. She bit her lip, took a deep breath, and answered,

"No." She pulled away from him and asked, "breakfast?" He shook his head rapidly, trying to clear his head, before answering.

"Sure." Ziva stepped into the kitchen and put her hands on the edges of the sink. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Why didn't you tell him? You had a perfect opportunity and you just let it slip away from you._ She turned around to ask Tony what he wanted to eat when she ran right into him. She gasped and backpedaled into the counter.

"Tony," she breathed. He just stared at her for a minute before offering her his hand. She took it, curious. He led her over to the couch and they both sat down. She tried to pull her hand away put he only held it tighter before taking her other hand as well. She looked up at him. The gesture was so intimate, so loving.

"Tony," she said again. He shook his head.

"Let me talk." She nodded. He took a deep breath before he began.

"You know, more than anyone, that I screw up, a lot." She laughed but stopped when she saw his look.

"Sorry continue," she said.

"Well yeah, I screw up a lot, but lately I've been feeling as if I _keep_ screwing something up, and it sure as heck wasn't my relationship with Sarah. I think I keep screwing up my relationship with someone else. We've almost kissed how many times now Ziva?" She inhaled sharply at his sudden question.

"You regret almost kissing me," she asked.

"Yes," was his almost instantaneous reply. She bit back the tears and the feeling of rejection that was overwhelming her. She looked down in an attempt to hide her face but Tony's hand coaxed it up again. He cupped her cheek and leaned into her. _If he doesn't want to kiss me, _Ziva thought, _then why is he..._

"I'm tired of almost," he whispered before pressing his lips to hers. She sighed contentedly and wrapped her arms around his neck. When they finally broke apart for air he rested his forehead on hers.

"Here's lookin' at you kid," he murmured. She scrunched up her face in confusion.

"What?"

"Casablanca! Come on Ziva you can't tell me you've never seen...." she cut him off by kissing him again, passionately. He moaned into the kiss as her hands came up to play with his hair. She undid his tie and threw it across the room. She had his shirt half un-buttoned when he stopped her. She looked at him, hurt and confused.

"What's wrong? Did I do something..."

"No," he said quickly, "I just...I want to take it slow with you, okay? It'll last longer that way."

"And how long do you want it to last," she asked happily. He smiled, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed the base of her neck.

"Forever."

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**See? Sappy and super OOC, but I liked it. Like I said earlier, I hope you guys enjoyed this fic! Thanks for reading!**

**xo-Erika-xo  
**


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